


The sound of my death clock goes tick tock

by That_one_kid_over_there



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket, My First AO3 Post, POV Dave Strider, Sad Dave Strider, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 08:30:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21194687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_one_kid_over_there/pseuds/That_one_kid_over_there
Summary: The tickingThe God aweful tickingIt drove him crazySome days it wasn't so bad, he could easily block it out or throw a pair of headphones on. But the past few weeks it was so loud. The light ticks turned into heavy dull throbs. It kept him up at night, he spaced out so much more, and he couldn't hear half the things anyone said.





	The sound of my death clock goes tick tock

**Author's Note:**

> Aw yes my first post here shall be angst
> 
> I wrote this while on a road trip cause why not

Dave woke up. He was lucky he fell asleep at all, even if it was only for two hours. He couldn't help but sit there. Slowly waking up and listen to the ticking. He sat there for who knows how long but it's felt like forever. 

Eventually the little ding from his phone snapped him back to reality, well as much into reality as he could get. He reached out an arm to grab his phone which felt like someone tied stones to. After his hand was searching, Dave felt the cool glass from his phone. The phone turned on bright and cheery, making Dave squint. *Fuck it's only 9:30.* 

Dave clicked on on the notification, which only made the screen brighter. Of course, the text was from Karkat.

"HEY, I HAD TO LEAVE EARLY TO GO HELP TEREZI AND VRISKA WITH SOME STUFF, I'LL BE BACK LATER."

Dave suddenly noticed the emptiness in the bed that him and his troll boyfriend shared. Karkat knew about how bad the ticking could get. He knew how much it drove Dave insane. He was the only thing actually keeping Dave from loosing his shit. Of course the others knew about the ticking (especially Aradia) but they didn't know the extent of madness that followed with it. 

Since Karkat was gone and was going to be gone for who knows how long, Dave already knew today was going to be especially shitty. Dave slowly sat up. His whole body felt so heavy that he was surprised he didn't sink in the mattress. He swung his legs off the edge and stood up. Slightly off balance, he trudged to the bathroom.

He fucking hates having sleepless nights, it felt like he was having a major hangover. He flicked on the bright, almost sickly bathroom light. Dave squinted his eyes once more at the shock of light. The light almost hurt. He moved over to the mirror. *Shit, it's so dark under my eyes.* 

Daves hair was very messy, he didn't care enough at this point to contain it. His bright piercing red eyes underlined with dark circles stared back at him. Strangely, his shades were on the sink, waiting to fulfill their purpose. *That's where I put the damn things.* He grabbed the shades and hid his underlined eyes.

Dave decided to stay in his shirt and boxers, it's not like he's going anywhere. The outside world was overwhelming with the throb of every tick and the dull tocks. He didn't really feel like having to deal with a juggalo jumping out at him,(yes that's happened multiple times, don't ask.) He flicked the light off and headed towards the living room. He flopped down on the couch and grabbed the TV remote from the very messy coffee table in front of him. 

He put on a random channel and tries to pay attention. Dave really tried to follow the show but he couldn't help but space out. The ticking may block out outside noises but it doesn't do shit for his thought, which made it ten times louder. He hates feeling the way he did. It felt like a cloud surrounded his head but it was painfully loud. 

This was the third time Karkat wasn't home this week. That always left Dave alone with his thoughts. He didnt like to feel like he had to babied to keep from going batshit crazy, so he doesn't he doesn't say anything when Karkat leaves. A tiny part of him thinks Karkat is starting to get tired of his shit anyway. Dave checked the time. *Damn it's already noon and I've just been sitting here, nice* 

Dave decided to text John cause 1. He hadnt talked to him in a while and 2. Why the fuck not? "Hey dude what's up"  
It was a simple text that took an hour for a response.  
"Oh hey, sorry for the late response, im kinda busy, can i text you later?"  
"Yeah, your good."

He didn't even try texting anyone else. What was the point anyway. He knew that even if he did start a conversation, he would act like he was fine. Dave never liked saying he wasn't okay or that he needed help. Dave probably stay for another hour, listening to the ticking and his thoughts and drifting in and out of reality. 

In the murkiness of his brain, one thought stuck out the most. *I could stop the ticking, I could just end it all, I'm fucking God tier I would just come back and it would stop the noise for a while.* it rattled around in his head for a little bit. He could end it all. He would be back in a few hours but a few hours of blissful silence would be a lot better than suffering any longer.

Dave slowly stood up and went for the kitchen. He couldn't stop himself. It felt like someone else took the wheel, and they wanted him dead. Once he entered the kitchen, he easily pinpointed the knife drawer. He opened it, revealing all the options of murder weapons. 

He grabbed a small knife. He put it gently against his wrist. Thoughts races in his head. *Do it* *are you fucking nuts?!* *You'll be back* *what about Karkat?* Shit. He hadn't factored in Karkat. 

Yes of course he would be upset but he would get over it... Eventually. Dave pressed the knife down, just enough to draw blood. It sent a shiver though Dave's body. It hurt but he needed more. He wanted to see more of that candy red. 

Dave didn't hear the door open. "Hey, I ended up getting back here earlier than expected. You wouldn't believe-" Karkat froze in place. He could barely see it but he knew what was happening. "Dave what the fuck are you doing?!?"

Dave kept his head down and slowly kept pushing the blade. Blood was dripping of his wrist. Karkat moved towards him. "Dave"  
"I'll only be gone for a little bit, I'll come back." His voice was harsh. Karkat was now in front of him. He gently put his hand on Dave's.

"Dave, please." 

He stopped pushing the blade. He hated feeling like this. He hated making his friends worried. He hated making Karkat feel worried. He hated feeling pathetic. He wonders why Karkat hasn't left him yet. His eyes stung with heat as tears built up. 

"Fuck" Dave chocked back on a sob. He handed Karkat the knife, who sat it down on the counter. "I'm sorry" Dave couldn't stop himself from crying. He used this back of his sleeve to rub his eyes under the shades. In all the years they have been together, Karkat has only seen Dave cry a couple of times.

"I'm sorry, it's so loud, I needed it to stop." Karkat grabbed his shades and put them on the counter along with the knife. He cupped Dave's face and brought him to his level. The cancer started at Dave's eyes and the dark undertones. It felt like he was examining the others face, like he was counting every freckle that laid peacefully on the others nose. 

He gave a small sigh. "I know you don't like to talk about you shit or whatever but I need you to me when it gets this fucking bad so you don't act like a complete idiot!"  
"But I don't wanna pile my shit on you" Dave said a little muffled due to Karkat still holding his face. "When will you use that thinkpan of yours and realize I just want to help."

This made Dave cry even harder. He was so lucky to have Karkat. The cancer let go of his and grabbed Dave's middle, holding him tight. Dave returned the grip, burying his face into the trolls soft hair and avoiding his horns. They stayed that way for what felt like too long. 

Karkat pushed back a little, grabbing the blondes bloody wrist. "We should bandage this up." Still holding on to Dave's wrist the cancer quickly lead him to the bathroom. The sickly light flicked on. Karkat rummaged the cabinets. Shortly after he found the first aid kit.

Dave sniffed and held out his arm for the other to examine. "Jesus, if you'd cut any deeper it would have been game over, almost quite literally." Karkat ignored the scars that lined the others arm. It always freaked out the ones who were close to Dave to see marks in places that could end lives. 

Karkat worked quick. He's had to clean wounds from the idiotic shit he had to put up with on a daily basis. Soon Dave's wrist was clean and wrapped. Dave stayed quiet, he knew if he said anything he would cry again or keep apologizing. Karkat seemed to understand that since he grabbed his hand and led him back to the living room.

They plopped down on the soft cushions. Karkat was was quick to find a movie. He patted lap and Dave obediently laid his head down. Karkat messed with the blondes hair in a soothing way. That was one Dave's only weakness, Karkat petting his head. 

Dave slowly drifted off to sleep and for the first time in what felt like forever, the ticking was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the mistakes, I was writing this at like 2:30 am :p


End file.
